Usually what I do is give forth the same amount of effort I receive. If someone in my workshop writes a page of constructive critcism on my script, I do the same for them. If I get pages back with “I liked it” or the same “Cool scene!” notes over and over then that’s all that writer will get from me.

It’s not your movie. Be glad that you already know you’re ahead of everyone. Just don’t be snobby about it.

-Brendan

I was attending a sitcom writers’ group. Social interaction isn’t my favourite thing, the group was located above a pub and usually I was two or three pints of beer ahead of everyone else by the time we’d finished reading the night’s script.

Come the time for the group to give feedback, I thought I was being very amusing when I said “it reads like it was put into Google Translate, turned into Spanish, and then translated back to English again.”

Horrible silence. On the plus side, no punch in the mouth.

But I feel terrible for saying that. It was a horrible thing to say. I still cringe thinking about it.

I read for a short screenplay contest. The most common problem was story. What’s the story about and why do I care? Story is tough to fix because that’s what is closest to the writer’s heart. I think writing can be taught, in terms of style and format, but the ability to tell a good story is something that is more innate.

There’s no site for horrible screenplays (thank God, because if they’re truly “horrible” you won’t learn much, which is what our reader has found). But…you can go to any of the script sites (drew’s script-o-rama, script pimp, and the internet movie database comes to mind) and just read the scripts for films you thought didn’t work (these scripts may fail, but they’ll also have something about them that works and you can learn a lot by analyzing where it went right and where it went wrong and why. You should also read scripts for films you think do work and see if you can figure out why.

Btw, I agree with Grant. You’re taking something personally that actually has nothing to do with you. That’s probably because you want to hang onto the security blanket of a class when maybe it’s time to enter that nether region, after you’ve left the amateurs behind and before you’ve entered the ranks of the pros. It’s a scary hinterland, but no one gets to greatness in a pack. You always have to go it alone to some degree.

John’s advice is spot on as usual, but I would add #5: get over yourself. Not necessarily in the pejorative you’re an egomaniac way, though you may be, but to realize that they’re not your stories and people have the right to be wrong. I don’t look at as my job to fix what’s wrong, but rather to offer my opinions, which are just my opinions after all, which the writers are free to do with as they like. “It’s not my movie” has gotten me through a lot of otherwise tough situations, never as an excuse to slack off or not do my best, but to realize that certain things I have no control over and shouldn’t worry about. If you look at it objectively, why should you care whether someone in your class uses your notes or not?

http://johnaugust.com/archives/2007/she-was-mistaken

She won’t learn, mate. Diplomacy is for politicians. Artists need to be righteous. The horror script lady out righteoused you. Yes she had a hot coffee, but sometimes the truth hurts.

And BTW, they will never, ever verbally agree with you. No matter which way you say it, gentle or sharp, with a spoon or a knife, you’re tearing their heart out. So make the cut quick and deep and be done with it.

I nearly lost my mind.

Also, I had an agent who asked me to read a horror script from another writer he repped. He said that her script was good but wasn’t doing well when submitted – for some odd reason. I read the thing and my eyes turned to pinwheels. How could someone who reps me also rep this? I had pages of notes. I met with the writer for coffee and she dismissed every single note. She was defensive, angry and looked at me like the enemy. I was diplomatic, fair and honest. She wanted to throw her coffee in my face and leave me with the check. After ten minutes of this – I folded my notes and just let her tell me what it was she intended with the piece. I discovered that she had a much better story in her head than she had on the page. She insisted all of it was in the script when nearly none of it was.

I encouraged her to do a rewrite and tell the story she had intended – and to not submit the current draft to anyone outside of her living room. I also left the agency as quietly and as quickly as I could.

You’ve found your level and your living it!

Boo, hoo, hoo!!!

The real question is this.. Are all the screenplays bad or are you unable to spot a good one? I mean that it the question.

The real job of a reader is to read the first 10 pages and its shite then dump it. That gets rid of the 99%, right?

And you get paid for this job, a good job! Or would you prefer to be a refuse collector or worse still, on the unemployment line?

Read it and weep, baby!

Readers, fvck it, I eat ‘em for breakfast!