I am Hillary Clinton’s clavicle
I’m always a little dubious about online tests, which purport to give an accurate assessment of one’s intelligence and/or sluttiness in a few simple questions. But I took this political-leaning quiz anyway, and was dismayed to find out that a detailed analysis of my opinions on issues of social and economic freedom placed me squarely on Senator Hillary Clinton’s right collarbone.
I certainly have nothing against Clinton. I guess of all the famous people portrayed in the chart, there’s no one I would say is a better fit. But I guess I somehow expected my thoughtful multiply-chosen answers would land me somewhere off the grid, in a special fifth quadrant of Deep Thinkers who are above Politics.
But no.
I’m Hillary’s clavicle.
Looking back through the questions, I can’t help but think they’d be useful when trying to get inside the heads characters whose beliefs are different than my own. For example…
(9) People shouldn’t be allowed to have children they can’t provide for.
Who would mark “Strongly Agree?” To me, that’s someone who not only believes government should intervene in personal matters, but thinks there’s a clear economic standard for determining it. No real politician would stake out this turf, but it’s an interesting worldview for a scary Texas sheriff, for example.
(15) If I’m dating someone I like to know where they are and what they’re up to at all times.
If you answer “Strongly Agree,” does that make you Republican, Democrat or Stalker?
(24) It should be legal for two consenting adults to challenge each other to a duel and fight a Death Match.
And these death matches would be held in the Thunderdome.
You can see the rest of the questions here.
Articles
September 27th, 2005 at 4:22 pm
An interesting test. The lack of a neutral/neither agree nor disagree is a tad unfair since most of us usually choose that option. But the questions are more interesting than the standard “I’m for the death penalty and against abortion: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU’RE A REPUBLICAN!â€? type surveys. But as we all know, any poll can be rigged in favor of a certain POV. Look at all those CNN/Fox New polls which begin “Do you think____is right?â€?. The wording makes it obvious what side the editor is on.
September 27th, 2005 at 4:57 pm
At least you appear as an attractive accessory to her blouse. I’m smack in the middle of her forehead — you can’t even see her eyes. I am Hillary Clinton’s… “T-Zone”.
September 27th, 2005 at 4:58 pm
Wow. I guess my conservative friends are right when they call me a commie because I ranked as a solid Socialist, with 78% social liberal and a side order of 18% economic liberal. In Soviet Russia, Test takes You.
Or maybe I’m thinking of a different kind of socialist. Not sure. Still came out around Hilary Clintons left breast.
September 27th, 2005 at 5:22 pm
Turns out I’m Gandhi’s jawbone — socialist/pacifist to the core I guess…. Ah idealism…
September 27th, 2005 at 5:33 pm
Sweet! i’m copping a feel of Hillary Clinton’s breast! My life’s mission.
September 27th, 2005 at 6:31 pm
I’m Hillary’s right breast for God’s sake! Where did I go wrong?
(sob)
Politics can be so cruel.
September 27th, 2005 at 6:49 pm
I am smack dab right between Hillary’s hair and Gandhi’s baldness…and who is that peeking out from behind the senator from New York? I can’t tell.
September 27th, 2005 at 7:01 pm
I ended up straddled between MLK’s temple and Adam Sandler’s (wtf?) jaw. It was pretty accurate, though — I generally consider myself something of a libertarian with the occosional modern liberal tendency. Some of the questions were vague, though. I might be for the right to pray during school at some point, but against coerced prayer, but I couldn’t really get what they were asking in that situation.
September 27th, 2005 at 9:13 pm
I…um…didn’t realize it was illegal for two consenting adults to challenge each other to a duel and fight a Death Match. Geez, I got some calls to make, some bets to call off…this is gonna be a nightmare!
September 27th, 2005 at 10:07 pm
Who is the guy directly above Sandler? I’m right under his chin.
September 27th, 2005 at 11:24 pm
I’m straddling Senator Clinton’s left breast and Ghandi’s right clavicle. Talk about finding myself somewhere I never imagined…
Thanks for posting the quiz. Loads of fun.
September 28th, 2005 at 1:01 am
If you want to take a political quiz that’s short and accurate go take the world’s shortest political quiz.
September 28th, 2005 at 1:18 am
I’m really going to show up my ignorance of US politicians here, but who’s the guy just to the left of Hilary Clinton? I’m his right eyebrow…
I’m maybe a little less socially permissive than I’d like to be, but hey, it was an interesting test! Would be fascinating to see a UK version….
September 28th, 2005 at 2:53 am
As a non American I though it intersting to take this test, and I was described as;
You are a Social Liberal (75% permissive) and an… Economic Liberal (23% permissive) You are best described as a: Strong Democrat. You exhibit a very well-developed sense of Right and Wrong and believe in economic fairness. loc: (93, -100)
Which placed me between Hilary Clinton and Ghandi. Can those two really be close together?
Anyway, from reading the posts so far it seems John has a group of Clintonettes…. :) And interesting stat for your records John.
September 28th, 2005 at 7:13 am
We all seem to be hovering around the same general area. (I’m on Hillary’s earlobe, next to Ghandi)
September 28th, 2005 at 8:11 am
Hugh –
You’re talking about either Gorbachev or Robert Redford. (They often get mistaken for each other.)
September 28th, 2005 at 8:24 am
It looks like I am the only person who reads this blog and is also below the X axis on the survey. I am Adam Sandler’s left nipple. I had no idea that his left nipple had any specific political ideaology, but I guess I agree with it.
I liked the result of Bryan N’s survey better.
September 28th, 2005 at 8:25 am
Oops, I was wrong. Everyone is well below the X axis. I am just slightly below it.
September 28th, 2005 at 9:08 am
I’m Hilary’s HAIRLINE!
September 28th, 2005 at 9:22 am
I’m apparently the wicked lovechild of Hilary and Gorbachev. There’s a sandwich I never thought I’d get stuck between.
September 28th, 2005 at 9:25 am
I found another test that I think is more accurate and it’s short enough to cut and past here.
IF YOU ANSWERED (A), YOU ARE A LIBERAL!
IF YOU ANSWERED (B), YOU ARE A CONSERVATIVE!
September 28th, 2005 at 10:14 am
Ahh… pleasant…. I am Gorbachev’s (Jack’s?) right eyebrow….
September 28th, 2005 at 10:44 am
I am Mikhail Gorbachev’s left ear. I’m not sure how to feel about that.
September 28th, 2005 at 11:02 am
I’m on Bono’s nose. Thankfully, there’s plenty of room there.
September 28th, 2005 at 12:26 pm
I am Ghandi’s ear. But I wish I were Darth Vader’s forehead, just so that I can say I was Darth Vader’s forehead.
September 28th, 2005 at 3:09 pm
Oh brother, those 1998-era’ish dime-a-dozen-internet-dandruffy quizzes are about as accurate as the Cosmo Quiz of the Month, which is to say, not even microscopically close. ;)
September 28th, 2005 at 9:06 pm
Hi. My name is Kristen and I’m Hillary Clinton’s cleavage? Really? What a wacky little test.
September 29th, 2005 at 6:36 am
I’m almost directly North of the esteemed Mr. August. I’m up around Robert Redford’s temple. Social liberal, economic moderate. Yup, that sounds about right.
September 29th, 2005 at 10:53 am
Who is the person direclt above and to the right of Hillary’s head?
Cause I’m right between that person and Dr. King
September 29th, 2005 at 10:55 am
Oh never mind, it’s Bono..
Hey cool. Me, Bono, and Martin. Ridiculously cute.
September 29th, 2005 at 11:16 am
Well, my political beliefs or opinions are way more complex than answering some 42 odd questions but i seriously figured beforehand i’d score as a Strong Democrat purposely drawn into a debate biased and/or impartial by the ideology offered or suggested. ;)
September 29th, 2005 at 12:29 pm
I ended up as Ronald Reagans heart. Like if he were doing the pledge of allegiance, I’d be where he put his hand.
September 29th, 2005 at 3:22 pm
Wow, I’m right smack on the Unabomber’s mustache. Never realized I was a terrorist/anarchist before…
September 29th, 2005 at 5:27 pm
The best thing about this test? Eventually, the following exchange may happen:
“Hey, did I tell you about that cute guy that wants to meet you?”
“No… What’s he like?”
“Hmm… He’s kind of in between Adam Sandler and the Unibomber.”
Oh, and I’m Pope John Paul’s face.
September 29th, 2005 at 6:16 pm
I am officially the Right Brain of Mrs. Clinton. I’m not sure what that means but that’s who I am. My life now has meaning.
September 29th, 2005 at 8:25 pm
I have landed squarely on Robert Redford’s face. A life long dream of many many women, but sadly, not one of mine.
September 29th, 2005 at 9:45 pm
Well thanks for damn all, John.
Did the test – Bono’s nose/Hilary’s left temple – and got sucked into the bloody site answering increasingly weird questions – I really don’t know what I think about being tied up and having poems inscribed on my back with a quill.
It’s 5.40 BST now and I’ve got incipient DVT and possible snow blindness.
Love your site by the way; just: don’t do that again.
Going to bed.
September 30th, 2005 at 10:30 am
I’m in Hilary’s hair. You’re right, the test seems very unfair. It should be redone.
September 30th, 2005 at 8:56 pm
God, what a bunch of pinkos…
I’m on Reagan’s left shoulder (the more centrist shoulder, I guess).
September 30th, 2005 at 11:10 pm
Mazin’s right. What a bunch of pinkos! No wonder the studios can get away with paying writers peanuts. Most of you guys would suffer pangs of guilt if they offered you a fraction of a gross point. ;-)
I’m either a halo over Sandler or a tumor on Trump’s left temple. The Donald needs to get that checked out pronto.
October 7th, 2005 at 9:41 am
I was rated as being on Gorbachev’s birthmark, ha ha
November 10th, 2005 at 12:14 am
Turns out I’m Hillary Clinton’s megawatt smile.
Anti-arbortion, anti-gun control, and pro-Thunderdome?
“You exhibit a very well-developed sense of Right and Wrong and believe in economic fairness.”
I guess that sense of right and wrong is based on the “Two men enter, one man leaves” principle…
June 7th, 2006 at 10:24 pm
For all of you commies who scored in the lower right quadrant and were told that you have a “strong sense or Right and Wrong and believe in economic fairness” and are feeling self-righteous, just know that i scored between ragan and bush’s chins and was told the same thing….and for all of you economic liberals…i am going to quit work, simply because i don’t feel like going anymore, which is a large majority of america’s poverty problem…please send me a portion of your paychecks.
July 19th, 2006 at 2:27 pm
I’m a Socialist sitting on Hillary Clinton’s chin. The view is amazing.
July 30th, 2006 at 12:08 pm
Another thing, how come Osama is closer to the Pope than to Dart Vader? Interesting…
November 20th, 2007 at 6:32 am
As much as I’d like to see a woman president, I don’t trust Hillary as far as I can throw her.