Don’t panic as you hit the panic button
This sign in the Beverly Center parking garage is, I think, an example of found poetry.
I find the decision to switch from subjunctive to indicative mood in the second line bold and foward-thinking; the elevator will become inoperative, in the same way that all men will grow old and feeble.
In lines three and four, I appreciate the writer’s ironic instruction to remain calm while inciting alarm in others.
“If furnished.” Those quotation marks are the author’s wink to an audience jaded by systematic disappointment. We know there will never be a telephone.
And how could one read those last two lines as anything other than a call to inaction? Yes, there are steps you could take. You could attempt to be a hero, as you’ve seen countless times in movies and on TV, but you’re certain to fail. Better to give up now, and learn helplessness.
Ding. Sigh.
Articles
August 20th, 2005 at 6:17 pm
wow, where the heck did you find this thing?!
i’m often seeing sites that have pix like this.. but just as often, the pix are contrived. did you take this pic yourself? it’s friggin awesome if it exists somewhere, “in reality”, as it were.
andrew
August 20th, 2005 at 6:38 pm
Yes, I took the pic with my Treo. The sign is in the elevator from the second floor of the parking garage, going down to Bed Bath and Beyond.
August 20th, 2005 at 8:31 pm
Sometimes the little things you find in real life can be so interesting. Today, on my way home from the grocery store, I saw a hooker using a stop-sign like a stripper pole. It was one of the most bizarre things I’ve ever seen.
August 21st, 2005 at 8:31 am
Totally awesome -
August 22nd, 2005 at 11:52 am
ja
my favorite part is that which advises you remain in the car until assistance arrives. you can’t beat that. that’s some pretty poor writing/thinking/logic
August 22nd, 2005 at 11:41 pm
“We know there will never be a telephone.”
Boy, that made me laugh. My wife and I are particularly fond of spotting misused scare quotes. Menus are the best. Our favorite was…
Pancakes & “Eggs”
Whoa. What the hell are “eggs”??? Naturally, we ordered them.
They were really “good”.
August 25th, 2005 at 8:33 am
My favorite part, no one seemed to notice, was the admonition to any amphibians or birds, still -in ova- while trapped on the elevator, not to hatch open.
August 25th, 2005 at 9:16 am
I love this sign! Of course it was in the Beverly Center, because so many older, Beverly Hills ladies shop there. Not to be rude, I think it’s just funny! I’m in NYC now, but grew up in CA and lived in LA for 22 years. So, I’m familiar with those lovely ladies. God bless them! They supply a lot of character inspirations just by watching them. : )
October 6th, 2005 at 9:20 pm
I’ve seen at least a dozen of these signs since I read this entry… all the elevators in the NBC/Universal building have them.