Abolish the states, mate
In an article published today, one of the other John Augusts argues persuasively that the states should be abolished.
Before you take up arms against him, you should know that he’s Australian, and he’s talking about “states” like New South Wales and Queensland. Which sound like made-up Risk territories, if you ask me.
It’s important that you not be confused by the other side’s rhetoric. For instance, listening to them you might think all of the members of Beyond Federation…
- are cheering Howard;
- hail from Whitlam;
- claim a monopoly on wisdom;
- only have advocates in New South Wales and Victoria;
- ignore the need for independent regional initiative;
- refuse to acknowledge population differences within Australia;
- and are “centralists”.
I have no idea what this means.
Ever since I first fired up Netscape lo these many years ago, I’ve been following the career of this other John August like he’s my long-lost brother. (He’s not, incidently.) I’ve seen him posting in scientific Usenet groups. Once, he even acknowledged that there’s an American screenwriter with whom he shares a name.
But what to make of his desire to abolish the Australian states? Is he a Socialist, a conservative, a progressive, a forward-thinker, a wacko? I don’t know, because I have zero understanding of Australian politics.
From the picture, he looks like a friendly sort, capable of telling jokes that a specific subset of friends would find hilarious. (For instance, people who know Monty Python backwards-and-forwards.) Also worth noting: he seems to have more hair than he knows what to do with. I do not.
I guess I’m saying, I want him to be good. I don’t need an evil twin. That’s what my subconscious is for.
Articles
August 30th, 2005 at 4:00 pm
All evil twins should be abolished.
August 30th, 2005 at 5:22 pm
I’m a writer, comedian and actor. And I have to deal with THIS BIZARRO GOOGLE TWIN.
August 30th, 2005 at 5:24 pm
There’s a Danny Wallace out there — I’ve met him — a very nice man, a successful writer . . . I would have to say more successful than I am . . . and we even share the same agent. Go figure.
August 30th, 2005 at 7:10 pm
I know (slightly) your not-so-evil twin. He is pretty much as you described him - a total enthusiast on whatever subject catches his interest for that moment.
As for Australia abolishing states - our nearest neighbour (New Zealand) copes quite well without them. The main difference between New Zealand and Australia is the Kiwis have a thriving film industry.
Hmmm.. Makes me think it might be worth a shot …
Mac
August 30th, 2005 at 8:00 pm
What if you are his evil twin though?
August 30th, 2005 at 11:19 pm
Hmmm – this makes me think …
It’s not always easy to understand other countries political systems. Living in Denmark, Europe and watching TV I can sometimes see debates from the British parliament. And I look with wonder and amazement on how they loudly boo and comment during a political debate. They never do that in the Danish parliament. Is the British system really a democracy? And the political system in USA, I do not always understand either.
We probably always interpret political issues through the lenses of those political systems we are accustomed to. And therefore we sometimes misunderstand what’s going on in other countries and areas, even though they call it democracy too. The way we interpret a story with political issues like Oliver Stones “JFK� is probably understood slightly differently in USA and in Europe and even more differently in Africa. And if we have stories taking place in an other time, it can be difficult to understand what goes on. How do we understand what goes on in Richard II by Shakespeare? or if we make a story that takes place in ancient Greek or Rome – like Spartacus, Ben Hur og Troy ?
Political systems are influenced by the values we endorse or approve. And the heroes in a system are probably defined through the values we have and live by. During the Viking age of Scandinavia my ancestors were living by an honour code that is not existing any longer in modern society. An honour code that meant that you had to seek revenge and kill other people in another family ( even though they might be innocent by modern standards ) if someone were killed in your family. So a hero in a story that takes place in the Viking age might be differently interpreted by modern man.
and - a HERO in a Story told by John August the Australian might be different to a HERO told by John August the American !
August 30th, 2005 at 11:53 pm
I am the only Leonid Rowan Schimmelpfhennig on earth.
August 31st, 2005 at 1:51 am
I have a number of namesakes, including a three-star michelin chef from France, and the leader of a blues group in the U.S. Not bad company, when you think about it.
While I’m from Australia, I think that I have a preference for screenwriter John August, than the J.A. closest to me geographically. I’ll also take this opportunity to sound somewhat sycophantic and thank you for sharing your acquired wisdom through this website, and for the wonderful adaptations of “Big Fish” and “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”.
“Quite over-canopied with luscious woodbine, With sweet musk-roses and with eglantine: There sleeps Titania sometime of the night, Lull’d in these flowers with dances and delight;”
August 31st, 2005 at 2:11 am
I have a number of evil twins…..
One is a politician (ugh….)
I have either one or two who are musicians… I don’t think they’re the same person, but they might be…
And a poet….
And that’s all from the first page of google results on my name….
August 31st, 2005 at 2:00 pm
Dear Leonid,
URP! That’s what I thought too.
Drat.
LRS
August 31st, 2005 at 2:22 pm
Dear Leonid,
As the tower of my delusion crumbles down around me, my first instinct is to hunt you down and kill you…my second is to invite you for a coffee.
Yours truly, Leonid
August 31st, 2005 at 6:50 pm
He can’t be an evil twin; he has no mustache (although the excess of hair is suspicious).
September 1st, 2005 at 4:59 am
Well, I am Australian and I also have zero understanding of Australian politics. Hehe. Seriously though, the idea of Australia without any state borders is… odd.
Anyway, I want to know whether John has visited Victoria. I remember him saying he was in Australia not too long ago, but which part exactly? I’m assuming Sydney. If you haven’t already, venture to the south east and visit us friendly folk in Melbourne.
Also: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory finally opened here today.
September 1st, 2005 at 5:07 am
I have a namesake who writes for the AP. So, if I Google my name, I look very prolific.
September 1st, 2005 at 9:06 am
Yes, Eddie, I’ve been to Victoria — Melbourne — and loved it. If I got booted out of the U.S., I’d move to either Melbourne or Sydney. Both cities are great. It’s a question of whether I’d need the metropolitan-ness of Sydney, or if Melbourne would be enough.
September 1st, 2005 at 9:34 am
In early 2001, newly employed and trapped in a cubicle I did an ego surf and found that my evil twin is truly evil, almost cliche-evil. An admitted white supreacist and satanist my namesake twin murdered a park security guard by firing seven shots at him while the guard thumbed through a book. Five shots were fired at point blank range. He believed that magical powers could be obtained by violently shedding the blood of white people who did not share his Aryan beliefs. He was convicted for this murder and another murder and sentenced to two life sentences. He was the main suspect in another murder but the case was dismissed because of lack of evidence.
Apparently besides sharing a name who also shared the predilection to write. During his arrest, the police discovered over 4000 pages worth of his writings. 4000 pages! No mention of screenplays in the batch but unfortunately for my evil twin it did contain a confession.
I accidently followed his story during subsequent ego-surfs and in 2002 I discovered that my evil twin was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. He died in prison in October of 2003 at the age of 31. Its strange to think that my name, Jason Doty carries with it a connotation of pure evil for some people in Arizona.
September 1st, 2005 at 9:59 am
I have the name-sake problem all the tine, actually when I was a wee-one I was featured in a Newspaper for that very reason.
Constantly I head “John August” said on television, always looking around to see his face and last time I heard the name and it turned out to be you this time, John as Charlie and the Chocolate Factory got a release here this week.
September 1st, 2005 at 10:08 am
Just thinking about it, my name-sake twin sent Hitler crazy, so that’s a good think on my conscience.
Sydney is great, if you’re a tourist wanting to see the landmark with other tourists on buses. That’s all Sydney is now to anyone who doesn’t live in Sydney. Melbourne is great, head there regularly. But Queensland is the place to go, well its where a lot of people retire to as a Seagull goes out to the ocean to die.
Lots of great landmarks, the best beaches, the Great Barrier Reef, lots of great events (Indy in October on the Gold Coast).
September 1st, 2005 at 4:03 pm
The “other” JA is a friend of a friend of mine. As for the abolition of the states in Australia, it’s actually a constitutional issue - i.e. Australia’s constitution actually breaks down administrative and financial responsibilities between the federal government and the states. This covers health, education, taxes and tariffs, industrial relations and a host of other things that will make your eyes continue to glaze over. What is not in our constitution is anything about freedom of speech, right of assembly and a whole host of human rights that you Americans take for granted as enshrined in your constitution. Well, we take those rights for granted as well, but we have less recourse if any of them are taken away.
Iain
September 1st, 2005 at 4:15 pm
Oh yeah:
September 1st, 2005 at 8:49 pm
I wish I shared my name with someone else, but then again most times I just having no-one pay attention to me.
MJ
September 2nd, 2005 at 12:44 am
Ah, glad you loved Melbourne, John! I love Sydney too, but wouldn’t want to live there. It’s good as a short holiday/weekend break type place though. Still, Sydney-siders generally get the nicer weather!
Richard, your seagull analogy is great. Gotta love the kitsch of the Gold Coast though.
January 2nd, 2007 at 3:53 pm
when are we going to abolish the Australian states. it is long overdue. forget monarchism or republicanism, this nation will be far better off without for former colonies and we will all benefit from this move.
Ken slater